You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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