apparently the secret to your success is patron
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
