Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize