It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
