in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
