so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
