the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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