meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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