i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
