Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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