I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
