I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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