So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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