i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize