Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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