I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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