Just mADE A PArabola og urine
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize