I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
