Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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