Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
as a side note pls kill me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
