im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
