these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
