even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
