That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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