ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
