I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
