I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize