tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize