I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
