is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize