just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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