i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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