I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
