I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
