FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
