apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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