that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Blood and glitter go together right?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
