.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
