Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
