he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My cat gives me a boner
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
