But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize