btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
