I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
