We're facebook friends in real life
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
