Quick, to the slutcave!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
