Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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