So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
