I want to make a zoo with you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
