I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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