remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
