i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
