Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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