So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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