yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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