This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
