I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
