Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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