Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
